i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
