Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
what day is it and did you see me today?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
