I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
