it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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