I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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