The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
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Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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