Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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