I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
