Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He better not be in your backpack
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
