Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I had to cum in my sink.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
