I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize