Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
