Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
