Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize