i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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