Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
