I wish I could punch you in the face.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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