he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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