and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
