Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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