i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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