Just mADE A PArabola og urine
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
