It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
