gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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