you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
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You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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