i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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