You don't have asthma, your pregnant
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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