oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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