i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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