I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
