Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize