brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
