I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
