David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
