drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
