alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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