i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
