so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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