The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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