That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
