Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
