hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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