explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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