My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
It's rum buckets o'clock
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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