talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
