It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize