Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
