If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
