508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Who died my cat blue again?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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