if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
