Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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