the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
