I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
