The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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