is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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