Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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