Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
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there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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