After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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