dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
