i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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