Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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