I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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