you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
