Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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