Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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